


Couch Potato

by A Cool Boy 111 (Acoolboy8)



Series: Parody Stories [13]
Category: Hyperdimension Neptunia
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Parody, Potatoes, Skit, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 09:31:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18601795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acoolboy8/pseuds/A%20Cool%20Boy%20111





	Couch Potato

Neptune enters the living room and sees the tv is still on. "Noire?" Neptune sees her and she's a potato. "NEPU!? NOIRE'S A POTATO!"

"I hate my life." Noire said.

"I told you watching too much TV would turn you into a couch potato! Do you want me to help you or not?" Neptune grabs Potato Noire.

"What the hell can you do? I'm a fucking potato." Noire groaned.

"Shut up! I know your nothing but a stupid potato! At least you're not an eggplant." Neptune said and looks to her right to see a random girl with a stick of butter in her mouth.

"I like butter...."

"Listen? Would you ever make a game about a potato?"

"What?"

"Would you'd ever make a potato game, and play the shit out of it?"

"Why the heck would I do that?"

"Exactly."

"Just keep cool. I got an idea." Neptune goes to her room and places potato Noire on the desk.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna ask the almighty MAGES. in my closet for help." Neptune opens her closet.

"Bow down bitch." MAGES. said. Neptune gets on her knees.

"Almighty wizard! My friend has turned into a potato what should I do?" Neptune asked.

"You stupid Goddess."

"That I am."

"Uhh? I'm waiting." Noire said.

"Shut up!" Neptune yelled. Noire then laughs.

"You ain't kidding, she is a damn potato." MAGES. said.

"I told you!"

"I think I can help you purple goddess."

"Then what do you suggest?"

"You got to take that potato, put in a toilet and piss on it."

"Ummm excuse me?" Noire asked, not liking the idea of being peed on.

"Along with that, you got to shout three majestic words."

"No one is peeing on me." Noire said.

"Shut up! If we have to do it we have to do it!" Neptune stated.

"Fuck my life."

"What are these three words."

"Come closer, Speak em out loud may cause some chaos." MAGES. replied and whispers the words into Neptune's ear.

Neptune puts Noire in the toilet and proceeds to pee on her. Ahem! Water. Just water. Neptune shouts the three words and the ground shakes violently for about three seconds.

"Welp. Nothing's changed. I'm still a potato, soaked in pee pee."

"Crap!" Neptune takes Noire back to MAGES. "The ritual was a fail."

"Shit. Must've confused that with pudding hookers." MAGES. responded.

"Well is there another way?"

"There is one way. But it's the most painful way."

"What does it have to do then?"

"You gotta take that potato, take a knife, slowly cut it open, from there releases your friend's spirit, returning to human form." She told Neptune.

"Thanks so much!" Neptune cheered and went to the kitchen and forgot to close the closer door.

"HEY CLOSE THE DOOR ASSHOLE!" MAGES yelled.

"Are you ready?" Neptune asked.

"Don't do it Neptune! Don't do it!" Noire yelled.

"Just pretend it's a shark tickling your tummy!"

"How's that suppose to make any sense!?

"1 2 3!" Neptune counted and started to cut Noire up. Noire started screaming pain as Neptune started giggling. Once Noire was cut in half, she appeared normally on the counter.

"I'm no longer a potato!" Noire said and looks down at the floor. "Neptune!?"

"I'm a freaking banana!" Neptune said and was a banana.

Noire jumps off the counter and onto the floor. "Oh my God...."

"Please help me, Noire. Please help."

"I should've known this was gonna happen." Noire said to herself and had Neptune in her hands.

"Oh God."

"Don't worry, I have an excellent idea on how to save you."

"Thanks Noire! I appreciate it."

"I kinda picked it up when you started cutting me there on the table, I thought it be a great idea to." Noire then launches Banana Neptune at the wall.

"AHHHH!!" Neptune screamed and crashed.


End file.
